


KirbPhilia, The Chart Fanfic-ized

by NotHickoryBun



Category: Hoshi no Kaabii | Kirby: Right Back at Ya!, Kirby (Video Games)
Genre: Blood and Gore, Kirby Smut, Multi, Paraphillia, fetishes, philias
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-02-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:27:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22393288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotHickoryBun/pseuds/NotHickoryBun
Summary: 100 Paraphilias, 1 franchise.The Chart or カービィで性的嗜好100題(Kirby's 100 sexual preferences) is owned by いるがん(Irugan), I do not own this image I simply want to make a story about this wonderful creation. Do not under any circumstance send this artist hate. If you want to hate please hate me instead.I hope you enjoy. The original idea for this was by Hickory_Bun1, thee is no longer working on theirs so I continued it here.I will be starting where he/she left off.I have made it virtually IMPOSSIBLE for anybody in my future to find this. I made this on my DYING computer on a new google account on a new Email. So, unless you find this EXACT computer when I'm dead, and fix it so it's actually usable and not crashing every 2 seconds (not that is is now) there is NO WAY to know who I am in real life. Just felt like I needed to "Put that out there"UPDATES:Dysmorphoplillia Is here!Yeah, I'm basically taking a break from writing. I'm still working, just in small increments. Anyways, no, i'm not dead and I will be back!soon.
Comments: 105
Kudos: 34





	1. Information

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Hickory_Bun1](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hickory_Bun1/gifts).
  * Inspired by [KirbPhilia, The Chart...But Fanfic-ized](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17806280) by [Hickory_Bun1](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hickory_Bun1/pseuds/Hickory_Bun1). 



### Chapter 1: Intro 1/2. Please Read Important Information.

### Chapter Text

**Welcome to my wonderful story introduction.**

Now let's get some important information out of the way, shall we?

_What exactly is this whole thing?_

This is a Kirby smut fanfic that **Hickory_Bun1** started, I read what she wrote, and I loved it, though when I looked if she was still updating it I realized she _wasn't._ and when I saw this I took matters into my own hands. I do not intend to finish all 100 philias but I will try. if you have any ideas please email me *my email is in my bio). if you want to read the first three chapters click [Here.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17806280/chapters/42011282#workskin) And the picture this story is based on is right [Here](https://e621.net/post/show/95277/)

_What exactly is a Paraphilia?_

she is glad she can explain! Hickory_Bun1 has an intense love for this topic. Now don't get confused **this story will be focused on the philia aspect**. But to explain philia and phobia. I will give a little lesson on feel free to skip to get to the good stuff, I wouldn't put it past you ^^

 **Paraphilia:** _A condition characterized as obsessive or sexual desire. A paraphilia can be based on an object, ideology, type of person, etc. Paraphilias are usually gained from a multitude of things be it a traumatic experience or something as simple as a causation of environmental factors like being around a certain type of media or people can cause a base of philias. However, I feel as though 'philia = fetish' can't be as used interchangeably as most people do, since as I said philia is something obsessive, not something that can be picked up and dropped like a fetish can. Paraphilia uses words from the Greek as you may have guessed, which means Strange Love. Surprisingly Accurate. Oh, and phobia is the EXACT OPPOSITE. you cant call it paraphobia though, because that's the fear of sexual perversion._

Well, that is all I have for now onto the next introduction. Which is basically a list.


	2. Information: Pt 2

_Dun da-dun dun dun! Okay, let's get down to one more part!_

_What is the chart and why is it important to this story anthology?_

To answer your question it's really simple the chart is mainly a nickname for this particular image. It's primarily used as a shock image to crash Kirby threads on 4chan however the real name of this is called **カービィで性的嗜好100題** or in English, it would be and forgive me for this, **Sexual preferences 100 Dai in Kirby** or in layman terms **Kirby Sexual Preference 100 titles** or in even more layman terms **Kirby has 100 sexual preferences,** though when put through google translate you get **100 sexual preferences in Kirby** **,** amazing.

https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=13416938

Now lets get to the part we are waiting for.

**What are the philias in this anthology?**

Well just watch and see.

Warning Some High Tier Degeneracy is about to take place

* * *

  1. **Emetophilia** : _in which an individual is sexually aroused by vomiting or observing others vomit. Also referred to as a vomit fetish_
  2. **Necrophilia** : _in which an individual is sexually aroused by corpses_
  3. **Agalmotophilia** : _Statues, mannequins, dolls and immobility_
  4. **Exhibitionism** : _Exposing one's genitals to unsuspecting and non-consenting others, nudity_ **THIS IS WHERE HICKORY_BUN STOPPED AND WHERE I WILL BE STARTING**
  5. **Formicophilia** : _Being crawled on by insects_
  6. **Lactophilia:** _Lactation,breast milk or liquids_
  7. **_Menophilia:_** _P-period blood, menstruation... ~~gross~~_
  8. **Vorarephilia:** _Absorption,The idea of one person or creature eating or being eaten by another; usually swallowed whole, in one piece_
  9. **Symphorophilia:** _Witnessing or staging disasters such as car accidents_
  10. **Autonepiophilia:** _The image of one's self in the form of an infant.[This does go hand in hand with Autopedophilia **:** The image of one's self in the form of a child.]_
  11. **Cannibalism/Anthropophagy:** _The act of eating ones flesh, or murdering them to eat their flesh_
  12. **Dysmorphophilia:** _Sexual arousal arising from deformed, mentally impaired, or physically impaired partners._
  13. **Pedophilia:** _Prepubescent children, also spelled paedophilia; often confused with hebephilia_
  14. **Asphyxiophilia:** _Being asphyxiated or strangled to the point where you can't breathe_
  15. **Apotemnophilia:** _Being an amputee_
  16. **Urophilia/Omorashi:** _Arousal from having a full bladder and/or wetting oneself, or from seeing someone else experiencing a full bladder and/or wetting themselves, piss drinking_
  17. **Espectrophilia:** _Arousal from mirror images_
  18. **Autoassassinophilia:** _Being in life-threatening situations, sexual thrill-seeking_
  19. **Klismaphilia:** _Arousal through the use of enemas_
  20. **Sitophilia:** _Sexual gratification through the use of food. Or arousal through food_
  21. **Tanatophilia/Thanatophilia:** _A person fascinated with death and death-related subjects, often sexually_
  22. **Dendrophilia:** _Trees._
  23. **Heirophilia:** _The attraction to holy or sacred figures._
  24. **Haematophilia:** _A sexual fetish for blood which evokes arousal when present on the fetishist's sexual partner, especially if nude._
  25. **Altocalciphilia:** _Arousal for high-heels_
  26. **Anasteemaphilia:** _A sexual attraction to significantly taller or shorter people_
  27. **Eonism:** _Arousal through crossdressing,_ _the adoption of feminine mannerisms, clothing, etc., by a male._
  28. **Gerontophilia:** _Attraction to someone older than you, old age_
  29. **Maieusiophilia:** _A sexual fetish for women who are, or appear, pregnant. ~~Remember it says appear to be pregnant~~_
  30. **Microphilia:** _Tiny beings; the imagined shrinking of beings_
  31. **Xenophilia:** _an affection or attraction for unknown/foreign objects, manners, cultures or people_
  32. **Nepiophilia:** _is a subtype of pedophilia describing a sexual preference for children less than 5 years old (including toddlers and infants)_
  33. **Nymphophilia:** _refers to sexual urges or arousal resulting from loving a teenager._
  34. **Nasophilia:** _Noses_
  35. **Oculophilia:** _Eyes and activities directly relating to and/or involving the eyes. Voyeurism does not meet classification for this term._
  36. **Odontophilia:** is a particular type of fetish involving the mouth [This also can include teeth]
  37. **Phallophilia:** _Attraction to penises_
  38. **Podophilia:** _Feet._
  39. **Pygophilia:** _Buttocks, as in a highly atypical sexual interest focused on the buttocks._
  40. **Trichophilia:** _in_ _which a person sees hair – most commonly, head hair – as particularly erotic and sexually arousing._
  41. **Glabrouness:** _having or being a smooth even surface specifically smooth skin_
  42. **Mazophilia:** _Highly atypical sexual interest focused on breasts._
  43. **Acousticophilia:** _Sexual stimulation or arousal from sounds including music, songs, verbal abuse, foreign languages, screaming, panting, moaning, groaning, sighing, heavy breathing, and sounds produced by people during sexual congress._
  44. **Frotteurism:** _in which a person derives sexual pleasure or gratification from rubbing, especially the genitals, against another person_
  45. **Choreophilia:** _the arousal from dancing_
  46. **Coprolalomania:** _one is addicted to obscene words and gains arousal from verbal abuse_
  47. **Doraphilia:** _Sexuoerotic arousal and fetishistic fondness for the smell and feel of animal skin, fur, and leather_
  48. **Mysophilia:** _A sexual dependency on something soiled or filthy, usually a kind of undergarment after use_
  49. **Pediophilia:** Attraction to pre-pubescent children ~~exactly what pedophilia is~~
  50. ~~~~**Spermatophagia:** _A sexuoerotic obsession with sperm or cum, cum fetish ~~~~_
  51. **Pyrophilia:** _a relatively uncommon paraphilia in which a subject derives gratification from fire and fire-starting activity, sexual pyromania_
  52. **Siderodromophilia:** _derivation of pleasure as a result of riding in trains_
  53. **Arachnophilia:** _refers to sexual urges, preferences or fantasies involving playing with spiders._
  54. **Bestialsadism:** _To derive pleasure from causing suffering to animals_
  55. **Pseudozoophilia:** _attraction to animal like traits, cat ears, tails, animal suffixes_
  56. **Spectrophilia:** _arousal from the ideas of ghosts, sexual attraction to ghosts_
  57. **Zoophilia:** _Animal_
  58. **Pseudonecrophilia:** _sexual act of pretending to be dead, arousal from having sex with someone pretending to be dead_
  59. **Vampirism:** _image of one's self in the form of a vampire, Involves ingesting or seeing one's own blood_
  60. **Liechenschaendung:** _the performance of sexual acts on a corpse ~~to be completely honest I don't know why the artist put two versions of necrophilia I guess this is act of sexualized death but not killing them???~~_
  61. ~~~~**Coporophilia:** _fecal matter, also known as scat, scatophilia or fecophilia_
  62. **Hygrophilia:** _Sexuoerotic arousal from saliva_
  63. **Osphresiolagnia:** _paraphilia characterized by recurrent sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges, or behavior involving smells, scent fetish_
  64. **Salophilia:** _A sexual attraction to salt or salty things, especially body sweat_
  65. **Dacryophila:** _Tears or crying_
  66. **Amaurophilia:** _Sexual preference for a blind or blindfolded sex partner, blindness_
  67. **Candaulism:** _sexual practice or fantasy in which a man exposes his female partner, or images of her, to other people for their voyeuristic pleasure_
  68. **Incest:** _sexual activity between family members or close relatives_
  69. **Narratophilia:** _sexual arousal from obscene language or stories_
  70. **Normophilia:** _Mainstream and socially accepted sexual interests, regular vanilla sex_
  71. **Nosophilia:** _Sexual arousal from knowing that a partner has a terminal illness_
  72. **Ochlophilia:** _arousal from crowded places, crowds or social situations, attention fetish[?]_
  73. **Phobophilia:** _sexual arousal from fear, can also mean arousal from a partner experiencing fear in a sadistic tendency_
  74. **Polyterophila/Polyiterophilia:** _philia in which sexual gratification is achieved only through group sex with repetition of a particular act with multiple people, group sex lines_
  75. **Timophilia:** _primary arousal from gold or wealth, ruler fetish,_
  76. **Troilism:** _sexual activity in which three persons take part simultaneously this can include; voyeurism, cuckolding, and threesomes_
  77. **Zelophilia:** _Sexuoeroticism that hinges on evoking jealousy, either in one's partner or in oneself_
  78. **Acrophilia:** _Sexual arousal from heights or high altitudes_
  79. **Agoraphilia** _: Psychosexual arousal from being outdoors, in open spaces, or from having sex in public_
  80. **Claustorophilia:** _arousal from confinement in an enclosed space_
  81. **Hodophilia:** _Sexual arousal from traveling to new or strange places_
  82. **Scopophilia:** _deriving aesthetic pleasure from looking at something and from looking at someone, this can include nude bodies and pornogrophy_
  83. **Scoptlagnia/Voyeurism:** _gratification produced by watching people engaged in sexual activity_
  84. **Scoptophilia:** _sexual pleasure that a person derives from looking at prurient objects of eroticism, such as pornography, the nude body_
  85. **Mixoscopic Zoophilia:** _in_ _which sexuoerotic pleasure is derived from watching animals in sexual condu_ _ct_
  86. **Acrotomophilia:** _The deriving of sexual gratification from fantasies or acts involving an amputee_
  87. **Algophilia/Sadism:** _a morbid pleasure in the pain either of oneself or of others_
  88. **Deflorantism/Deflowering:** _a sexual obsessive philia in which a person gets pleasure from the idea of virginity_
  89. **Salirophilia:** _sexual fetish or paraphilia that involves deriving erotic pleasure from soiling or disheveling the object of one`s desire, usually an attractive person_
  90. **Cryophilia:** _paraphilia for the cold or freezing temperatures this includes objects, people and enviorments_
  91. **Harmatophilia:** _fetish or preference for people who break rules or commit mistakes, idiocy fetish_
  92. **Harpaxophilia:** _is the sexual attraction to being the victim of robbery_
  93. **Homilophilia:** _Sexuoerotic arousal and pleasure from hearing or giving sermons and speeches_
  94. **Hybristophilia:** _a paraphilia in which sexual arousal, facilitation, and attainment of orgasm are responsive to and contingent upon being with a partner known to have committed crimes or bad acts_
  95. **Kleptophilia:** _A paraphilia in which a person is sexually aroused by stealing_
  96. **Pecattiphilia:** _involves sexual arousal from performing an act believed to be sinful_
  97. **Phygephilia:** _involves a sexual arousal related to flight or being a fugitive ~~to be honest even I don't know how I would make this work...maybe adrenaline orgasm?~~_
  98. **Somnophilia:** _is a paraphilia in which an individual becomes sexually aroused by someone who is unconscious_
  99. **Taphephilia:** _Sexual arousal from being buried alive_
  100. **Biastophilia:** _Rape_



great, now that i've got that out of the way; I will _finally_ start writing the porn. Since i am picking up where she left off i will start with:

 **Formicophilia** : _Being crawled on by insects (aka the feeling i get when i eat bugs)(yes people eat bugs get over it)_ ok _ **INSECT TIME.**_


	3. Formicophilia: Sexual Pleasure by Being crawled on or nipped on by insects

It was a known fact that Marx had many secrets, one of these being he actually _does_ have friends, one of his friends being Tarzana. Marx _resented_ people that were _jolly,_ or _happy,_ or... Marx hated people in general, but Tarzana, she was... different, he liked being around her.

Tarzana knew he'd never confess, but she knew he liked her, It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out. 

One of the many perks of being close to Marx was that Tarzana knew things a lot of other people don't know, she also knows things Marx doesn't want her to know, but alas; she does. Marx had a huge Formicophilia fetish, and that's a fact. Tarzana had picked it up through the many years she had been with him, and through this, she started _hatching_ a plan.

Since Marx didn't like people; he usually slept in caves far away from Dreamland, and when the time came, Marx went back to his cave to sleep, but upon entering, he was greeted with a spider egg.

"an egg?" Marx asked himself, he had never seen an egg this close before. Agitated he tried kicking it out so he could sleep, though this only caused a single spider to crawl out. When he saw it, he tried kicking the spider away too, but missed and ended up hitting the egg again, causing more spiders to sprawl out of it.

"Ahh!" Marx exclaimed when he saw this.

"Go away!" He yelled at this spiders, expecting them to listen. The spiders started crawling up his leg, causing him to fall and bap the egg one last time causing the rest of the spiders to crawl out, and onto him again. As the insects were creeping up and down his body, more joined in, adding to the stimulation. Marx couldn't help but feel that the spiders slithering up and down his entire body and feet was so... so... arousing.

Marx stifled a moan, his bulge now just peeking out of his slit.

"augh" he moaned unable to restrain it any longer, his aching member now fully out of his slit. He felt waves of pleasure washing over him as the insects crawled up and down his manhood, precum basically flooding out of his penis. It was times like this he wished he had hands.

"ugh" Marx groaned as he was reaching his peak, he couldn't take it any longer, he _needed_ release. The spiders; wriggling around his throbbing dick, crawling up and down his body, tickling the bottom of his feet, it was too much, Marx couldn't hold it in anymore.

"OHHHHH" He moaned he released spurts of cum, each one less intense than the last.

After all this stimulation; Marx passed out, leaving his penis to slowly retreat back into its shaft.

It was now morning, Marx had woken up, no cum, no spiders, no egg. The only thing near him was a note that read:

_You're Welcome ;)_

_~Tarzana <3_

Marx blushed.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

oof, i suck don't I? i'm making this rushed, though i like it myself. If you have any writing tips/ideas for future stories please leave them in the comments.

**OK first one down! next up... Lactophilia: _Lactation,breast milk or liquids._ ew. ok at least it won't be as bad as menophilia. **

**Have _no_ idea how i'm going to do that one, so ideas? **

**so, i'm gonna do what my "predecessor" could't do.** _Post every sunday! woooo!_ **maybe sometimes the sunday after, but regardless, i'll try to post on sundays. thank you! (plus if you're going to leave hate leave it to me because hickory already suffered enough)**


	4. Lactophilia: Sexual pleasure through Lactation, breast milk or liquids

It was weird

It had always been weird, he was born this way, so he should have no reason to think it is... right? Even if it wasn't, the townsfolk still gave him strange looks as he ran back home. Well, there's no reason to think otherwise, It was weird: Meta Knight has nipples.

Embarrassment struck over Meta Knight as he tried to find the way back to his quarters once he had gotten back on the Halberd. he'd forgotten his way around, everything seemed new. Once he'd gotten to his room he quickly closed the door behind him, hoping none of the waddles saw him. The second he entered he opened his closet and grabbed his spare mask and quickly put it on. It was cracked and worn, but that's ok, especially in this situation. It was too late though, the damage had been done. Soon word will get around that Meta Knight has nipples, and he will never be respected again. He could still hear the deafening laughs of Galacta Knight when he broke his mask in two, rendering it unusable.

"What's wrong Kni Kni?"

"A-Wha? N-nothing, get out" Meta Knight said, pressing his mask against his face, as he hadn't strapped it on yet, not expecting Kirby to barge in.

Kirby closed the door behind him and started walking toward Meta Knight. Meta Knight slowly turned toward Kirby.

"I saw you running around the Halberd, aimlessly. I know somethings wrong, tell me." Kirby said, demanding an answer.

Meta Knight paused for a second and hastily replied as he pushed Kirby out of his room

"Nothing now get out good day au revoir adios have a nice day goodbye" It was getting late, Meta Knight washed up, went to bed, and pulled his bed cover over him, hoping he forgets the events of today.

Kirby, on the other hand, was not about to sleep, he wanted to know firsthand what was going on. Kirby waited and listened in through the room beside Meta Knight's, but fell asleep himself waiting. When he finally woke up, he realized it was almost evening. Kirby rushed to Meta Knight's room, hoping that _maybe_ he was still asleep? But no, he wasn't. He'd woken up and was training the Waddle Dees, Kirby knew he couldn't disturb him then so he went to Meta Knight's room and waited for him to come back.

Meta Knight finally finished his lessons and came into his room and was surprised to see Kirby sitting on his bed. Without skipping a beat, Kirby walked over to Meta Knight and took off his mask and threw it on the floor with a loud _"clang"_. Meta Knight just stood in shock as he was still trying to process what had happened. Kirby stepped back and realized what Meta Knight was trying to hide.

"Nipples?" Kirby asked as he cocked his head. He couldn't help but find it a bit... sexy. A small bulge started to appear under his slit.

"I was born this way, there's nothing I can-" He stopped in the middle of his sentence, noticing Kirby's bulge peeking out a bit more, this caused his bulge to start to peek out too.

Kirby realized he noticed and looked away as he blushed, Meta Knight blushed too. Kirby walked over to touch his nipples. He gently prodded them at first, but then started pinching them, this made Meta Knight exert a small moan. His manhood, now leaking precum, was almost fully erect, and so was Kirby's. Kissing, They made their way to the bed, once there they laid down, Kirby started softly suckling on Meta Knight's nipples. Kirby grabbed the base of Meta Knight's length and slowly, from base to tip, started stroking.

"Nnngh" Meta Knight moaned, not expecting him to do that. With nothing to do, Meta Knight laid there, soaking it all in. Kirby started sucking harder, this caused Meta Knight to gasp.

"K-Kirby, N-no- not so hard!" Something was building up inside of Meta Knight. Just then, Kirby felt a liquid shoot in his mouth, wait...liquid? Kirby pulled back and saw a creamy liquid coming out of Meta Knight's nips. Meta Knight looked down.

"Wh-What? How I'm a boy." Meta Knight said as he looked down at his cock, questioning his existence. Kirby, of course, saw this as an opportunity.

"Perfect" Kirby went back in, suckling even harder this time, and stroking faster. Meta Knight's wings were twitching erratically, he couldn't keep them under control. Reluctantly, he grabbed Kirby's penis and started stroking.

"Mmmph" Kirby moaned, still sucking on Meta Knight's chest. The liquid was still shooting into Kirby's mouth, the sweet, vanilla taste was addicting.

Meta Knight was the first to cum. his sperm shot into the air, multiple times, each time, less intense than the last until he was drained.

Once Meta Knight stopped cumming, Kirby stopped stroking and directed his attention to Meta's nips. While Kirby was sucking on his nips, Meta Knight focused on jerking off Kirby, he started stroking a bit faster. Kirby was already almost at the point of orgasm. With one last strong stroke, it sent Kirby over the edge.

"aaaaaahhhhhhhhhh" Kirby moaned, one final time, finally letting go of Meta Knight's nipple.

The bedsheets were stained, but nobody cared.

"That felt good" Kirby said

"yes, it did" Meta Knight replied. screw whatever anybody else thought. He has nipples, deal with it, and apparently he can lactate too? beyond that, Meta Knight knew: This is his body, it doesn't matter what other people think of it, plus, he will always have people that love and apreciate him, and that's the only thing that matters.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_ok, I think this one was a bit better, length-wise of course, but only one way to find out! feedback? I also had a week to do this one which put me at ease._

**ACK!- This one was (mentally) hard to write, just imagine me internally dying in my room, crying as I write:** _"Meta Knight has nipples"_ **... yeah, I don't want to either.**

**I need to find out how to portray moans through text specifically at the point of orgasm, yeah it sounds weird, but that's the kind of things you need to know if you're gonna write smut. I also need tips on how to e x t e n d the smut part, it always ends up feeling too short. actually, I need help on how to extend the entire story in general.**

**Halfway through writing the smut part, I realized Lactophillia has to do with lactation/milk, not just nips**

**so I stole an idea from Hickory's Pastebin. Sorry Hickory.**

**Next up, drumroll please badabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabada pshhhhh** _Menophillia: P-blood, Period blood, Menstruation_ _._

**Being a man, I refuse to write about this topic, therefore I am stealing from Hickory_Bun's Pastebin. 100% credit to her on the next story. But hey! Positive for you! 2 stories in one day!**

**I finished this story wayyy earlier than I anticipated and so I realized it earlier. I realize now that one every week in inconvenient for me so I'm just gonna release the next story whenever I feel it's done. thank you!.**


	5. Menophilia: affinity for period blood/menstruation

Kirby was once again training against Meta Knight basic sword training

"You have grown well in skill Kirby, However, you need to work on your balance." Kirby smiled, she liked receiving praise from her mentor Meta Knight, She loved looking at how cool and mysterious he is, she-

"AHGH!" Kirby was jutted from her daydream when she felt something wet creep down her leg the pink puff looked down in fear.

"B-blood!?!" Kirby looked down, yes it was a tiny droplet of blood, Meta Knight was slowly coming closer

"Kirby, are you okay? you look pale" Kirby's eyes widened, she did not know what was happening, this wasn't right. If Kirby knew anything, Its that she could not let Meta Knight see her like this. Kirby pushed Meta Knight away and broke out into a mad dash into the entrance of the woods yelling

"I-i'm FINE Ju-JUST GOTTA GO!" Meta Knight was perplexed at the sudden change of emotion. he looked down at his hand, as there was something staining it, Blood...?

Kirby sat on the forest floor a light breeze could be heard. She looked down, the bleeding hadn't stopped, she proceeded to inspect herself

"N-nothing seems to hurt," Kirby said to herself, softly. She shuddered, her nubs clutched her stomach

"Except my gut, it feels like a cramp" Kirby rubbed her lower half for further investigation. She pulled up her nub and smelled the iron scent of blood, Kirby stared at the blood-covered nub.

"Is this what a period is?" Tuff had talked with Kirby about this kinda stuff before, so she wasn’t too shocked about this kinda experience, Kirby's fear dissipated as she continued to stare at the silky red liquid almost forming a mirror on her hand. For some reason, Kirby began to question the substance, it smelled weird... _It smells like metal and salt._ Kirby brought her face closer to the nub and for some reason, out of curiosity took a tentative lick.

"Mmmm" Kirby's eyes shot open, what the heck was she doing? She had just tasted blood and liked it…Kirby did not know what to think. It tasted weird like it was a bit metallic but salty with a hint of sweetness to it and it was slightly bitter.

“Just like him~” The pink puffball proceeded to take a more shakey dip back down into her slit

“M-meta Knight once said it's good to inspect things you don’t know about so this is okay...” Kirby unintentionally said out loud. She rubbed it a bit more, her nub pushing on her clit causing Kirby to moan

“I-it's so good!” Kirby gasped for breath the shakiness overtaking her. Kirby brought back one of her nubs and sucked it, pushing it almost fully into her mouth, the blood making a stain on her nubs

“I have never tasted anything like this before” Kirby laid down on the ground and used a stray oversized leaf as a blanket to lay on. Kirby started to push deeper in causing to moan louder it was weird for sure but it felt so good. Kirby pulled out there was slightly less than before. Kirby started to scrape at the sides of her own cervix sending shock waves of euphoria down the puffballs spine.

“AGH! META KNIGHT WHY WON’T YOU LOVE ME!!!~” Kirby yelled in pleasure as she released a fountain of ejaculate. Kirby shook uncontrollably Kirby laid down for a while letting the euphoria wash over her. It was only until it was completely gone that she realized what a mess she had made of herself dark blood spots caked her mouth and groin. “I better clean myself” Kirby started to run deeper hoping to find a stream she could wash in. Unbeknown to her a certain cloaked masked knight was watching in the treetops

“My. God.” __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_Again 100% credit to Hickory Bun for the story._

**Not much to say about this one... since I didn't write it... but... *cough*... I edited this chapter so it's easier to read.**

**Fun Fact: Kirby is only male outside of japan. Kirby's gender was never specified at all, once. Plus Kirby was made at Nintendo Hq, in japan, so... _Teeeeeeechnically_ Kirby is a girl.**

**Next up: Vorarephilia:** _Absorption, The idea of one person or creature eating or being eaten by another; usually swallowed whole, in one piece._

**hmm, that'll be hard, but I think I have an idea for it. and it's gonna have to do with either Dedede's inhale, or Kirby's inhale move.**


	6. Vorarephilia: sexual pleasure through absorption/being eaten, usually whole.

_*Whirrrrrrrrrrrr*_

_*Gulp*_

Kirby was Practicing his inhaling skills with Meta Knight.

"again," Meta Knight said as he threw another apple into the air. *Whirrrrrrrrrrrr* *Gulp* This was absurd, Kirby knew how, and when to use his inhale.

"too early," Meta Knight said, shaking his head. _It doesn't matter, as long as it goes in, that's all that matters!_ Kirby thought to himself. They've been doing this for about an hour now, it was getting repetitive and boring, not that it wasn't already.

"agai-"

"can we take a break?" Kirby asked before Meta Knight could finish. They paused for a moment before Meta Knight finally said

"Very well, I'm running out of apples anyway. You have thirty minutes" _Yes!_ Kirby thought to himself as he frolicked away.

Kirby ran to a good clearing just outside of the forest. He ran to the top of a small hill. He tasted the sweet perfume of the plains grass as he rolled down. It had rained the day before, making the grass wet. The cold blades of greenery sent shivers down his spine as he laid on the floor. The soft soil, the nice feeling grass, the warm wind blowing was all so peaceful. Kirby slowly started to drift off to sleep. He was beat from all the working.

Meanwhile, Meta Knight was _in_ the forest. He was looking for more apples so that they could continue their training. He had grabbed a few apples from a couple of trees, ~~shut up, I know that's a tautology, nobody cares.~~ But then Meta Knight realized something. they were still in green greens, so wispy woods _had_ to be nearby. He climbed up a tall tree for a bigger field of view and sure enough, there he was, the 100-meter tall monstrosity himself, wispy woods.

He started making his way there, grabbing a couple of stray apples off the ground as he walked. Meta Knight knew wispy woods held the best apples in the forest, in quantity, and quality, if he was sleeping he should be able to grab a good number of apples without waking him up. Meta Knight was lost in his own thoughts and before he knew it, he was there. he slowly flew up to one of his branches and softly landed. Quickly he looked at all the apples in his reach and realized this would be more than enough. steadily, he moved his hand toward the first apple, ever so slightly twisting it to loosen its grasp on the tree *snap* he got it. No immediate reaction was heard or seen, so he continued.

There was one last apple, _it's been thirty minutes, Kirby should be coming back, I have some time, one more apple couldn't hurt._ Meta Knight pretty aggressively took down the final apple, and with it he heard a small *snort* coming from the tree, signaling his leave.

"Hnnnngh" Kirby groaned as he came back, still groggy from his nap earlier.

"You're late," Meta Knight said, crossing his arms.

"HNNNNGH" Kirby replied, notioning that he didn't care.

Meta Knight Threw an apple and Kirby, caught off guard, caught it, instead of inhaling it.

"no, what have we literally been doing for the past hour?" 

"again" Meta Knight threw another apple *Whirrrrrr-*

"Wait, Kirby, no, no! NO!" *Gulp* the apple hit the ground with a *thud,* Meta Knight was gone, and whatever was in his mouth was hard to swallow, which was probably a good thing. Kirby put two and two together and realized. He ate Meta Knight and he was in his mouth. Wait... Meta Knight... Was... In his mouth. Kirby got an idea.

"You let me out of here Kirby! I did not risk my life at wispy woods for **this!** " Meta Knight's muffled voice vibrated in Kirby's mouth. Kirby started walking back towards civilization, where he would promptly spit Meta Knight back on the Halberd and walk home.

Meta Knight struggled, but this wasn't a problem for Kirby, as he was used to having way bigger things in his mouth. Meta Knight looked around, not that he could anyway, it was pitch black. The acidic saliva, the squishy inner cheek, the oozing mucus, it all kind of... turned him on. Meta Knight's bulge started to grow just below his slit which slowly grew. Kirby felt this, but didn't know what it was, and decided not to think about it.

Meta Knight wanted so badly to start humping the fleshy wall he was leaning on. _What if I was Kirby? What would I feel?... I wouldn't know what's happening_. Meta Knight tried to talk himself out of it, but let his hornyness get the better of him. _screw it, it's now or never_. Meta Knight turned around and put his half-erect member against Kirby's inner cheek and, slowly, started thrusting himself upward.

"Hnngh" Meta Knight moaned as the first wave of pleasure sent shivers down his back. Kirby, again, wondered what he was doing. _Maybe I should spit him out? no, no! not when I've just started my journey._ Meta Knight's penis was leaking precum, which had dribbled down and coated a part of Kirby's tongue. The salty taste made Kirby wonder if he was dehydrated.

Meta Knight had started pushing himself up a bit faster. He stretched his arms(?) as far to his side as they'd go and slowly rubbed in small circles. The scratch from the fabric of his gloves made Kirby shudder. Meta Knight grabbed Kirby's gums, giving Kirby a small pinch, too small hurt though. Waves of euphoria flooded over Meta Knight, he felt so good. Kirby _seriously_ considered spitting Meta Knight out but thought against it for the sole fact that he thought he would just make him practice his inhaling again.

"Mmmh" Meta Knight moaned as he was nearing release. The tip of his length was pouring out pre at this point, he started thrusting faster, it was obvious he was nearing release ~~and it was obvious the writer was running out of ways to keep explaining the same thing over and over but worded differently.~~

Kirby could see dreamland now, it was still a long way to go, but he knew he was going the right way.

All of Meta Knight's built-up tension was about to break down. Meta Knight's thrusting was pushing him over the edge, and with one final thrust, he was...

*Ptoo* Kirby had spit Meta Knight out, revealing his 7.8 inch member

"M-Meta Knight? What were you doing?"

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_well... it seems both Me and hickory have lost a txt file holding our works... was meant to be posted earlier today, but it was probably good that this happened because I already knew the entire premise of my story, and I added to the story, making it a bit better, and more descriptive. anyway, I really like this one, but maybe you don't. you know what I'm going to ask, right? Feedback?_

**Alternate ending!**

*Whirrrrrrrrr* *Gulp* Kirby was Practicing his inhaling skills with Meta Knight. This was absurd, Kirby knew when and how to use his inhale power! "again" Meta Knight said, but before he could throw the apple into the air Kirby responded with "I'm Tired of this!" "Well, that's too bad! if you don't use what you have, you'll _lose_ it!" "really? a quote?" Meta Knight threw another apple into the air. *Whirrrrrrrrr* *Gulp* wait... that wasn't an apple. Kirby looked down, he had swallowed his foot. In a moment of panic, Kirby started inhaling again taking in his whole shell of a body and revealing only his black hole of a stomach. Meta Knight, Pop-star, it's moons and the universe was sucked in, henceforth sending it to a new one. forever. **the end**

**You're welcome!**

**I stopped making indentations, I realize now that they're unnecessary and a waste of time.**

**Do you guys know any grammar and spelling checker tools I can use? I am currently using Grammarly, but it's basically a big ad for premium, and its synonym finder is trash. (I tried Ginger too, it sucks ASS)**

**I'm trying to find ways to enhance the story because you don't read smut just for the smut, you read it for the story too, and if the story is bad, then the smut is bad and if the smut is bad, everything is BAD. (that's a lotta bad)**

**Next Up:** _Symphorophilia: Witnessing or staging disasters such as car accidents._ **hmmm, I know I always say this but, this is going to be hard.**

**I think I'll refer to the drawing for this, but I'll definitely need some help with this. I can't just have Marx break out in a masturbation frenzy in the middle of a fire, that would be unethical. Gosh, some people, no?**


	7. Symphorophilia: Witnessing or staging disasters such as car accidents

"Finally..." Marx had all he needed; He could finally take over Pop-Star.

*BOOM* Marx had it all, Pop-Star was his. Now everyone had to bow down to his order. No longer would people call him "clown dude" He would be bigger than Nightmare. And he just had one more place to go.

Marx zoomed out of Pop-Star's atmosphere, giving him a view of the entire planet. There It was, A small village of Waddle Dees and Waddle Doos, just minding their own business... not for long. 

*ZAP*

*BANG*

The entire village was set ablaze, Marx flew faster than the speed of sound over to the pitiful community and roared to the colony with a booming voice: "BOW DOWN TO ME MERE MORTALS, FOR I AM YOUR RECKONING!" all the Waddle dees and doos did as he wanted, terrified faces while doing so. Marx flew back into space and watched calamity reign down on Pop-Star. Marx ~~thought~~ KNEW this was it, The entire world: in the palm of his hand, this exited him, and to his sudden realization, in more ways than one it seemed.

Marx had been drooling, and his now semi-erect penis had retreated from its sheath, And a clear bead of pre-ejaculate had formed at its tip. Marx was getting so horny, he had never felt this way before. He summoned a hand for himself and slowly started rubbing his throbbing member.

"Hnngh" he moaned, as he experienced his first surges of pleasure. Gently, he moved "his" hand up and down his length. All the destruction happening before him only intensified his arousal. He started stroking faster and harder, pushing him closer towards release. He laid down, using his wings as a sort of pillow to stay on. Marx used "his" thumb to rub the tip of his penis in small tight circles, giving him a titillating feeling.

"Mmmm" he moaned, once again. Unintentionally, he started rocking his hips back and forth, somewhat adding to the pleasure. He was almost at his end. And with one more mighty thrust, Marx was sent over the edge. His seed shot forward, multiple times floating off into space until it finally started to die down.

Marx stayed down, basking in his afterglow for what felt like hours, until he got up, which then he felt true panic, as he heard the sound of a a warp star coming by.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_yeah, this is short, and boring. I didn't want this to have a lot of depth to it because if it was descriptive, but short, I know a lot of you would get mad. Don't need Feedback this time._

**I bet you can tell, I wrote his story with a thesaurus next to me. ya' need to know those synonyms, man.**

**Been playing a Kirby emulator to get a better feel of all the characters. Marx is an asshole, Dedede is cocky, but can be smart, Meta Knight always knows what he's doing, and Kirby always does what he thinks is right**

**AAAAnyway, Next up:** _Autonepiophilia: The sexual pleasure from regression to an infant-like state._ **Ok, I got a good idea for what I want to do on that one, I want to use Waddle dee because he hasn't got enough praise, I love him, he's beautiful.**


	8. Autonepiophilia: Sexual arousal from the image of one's self in the form of an infant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! yeah, I haven't posted in a while, but to make up for it, look at the SHEER SIZE of the story! Actually, I mean, whenever I make a story, I feel like it's long, but when I read it over, it ends up feeling short and rushed. what do you think?  
> I lost the entire story halfway through the first time I was making it and had to rewrite it (as you probably already know), but, oh well, it's still... I like it.  
> I'm serious guys, i have no ideas for the next chapter, I NEED suggestions, sorry if i'm coming off as a bit entitled, but I really cant think of anything. Until then I'll be writing the other philia. I feel like I have more to say, but I don't. wanna start a conversation? I'll start:  
> "So... how's your day been?"  
> "What? You just wanna read the story?"  
> "Well... I mean, you're here already so... why not stay and chat?"  
> "Shut up?"  
> "ok, just read the story :("  
> _________________________________________________________________________________________________________

There was so much more to me than meets the eye.

I have secrets, _many!_

Granted, most of them deserve to be locked away and never shown to the public from here and henceforth unless I want all my reputation respect and dignity shredded away from me atom by atom, but... Some of them are cool too! I once dressed up as Galacta Knight and fought Meta Knight; I lost (duh) but it was wonderful, fun, but stressful at the same time. I ended up running off 5 minutes into battle after I realized I actually _can't_ fly, so...

I do roleplays with myself as well, but this one time, I roleplayed as a baby, and it gave me this… reaction? It felt really good, but I also felt like I needed to hide it. Anyway, I-

*Knock, knock, knock*

Waddle doo: My roommate interrupts.

“Hey uh, Waddle dee, I’m back”

“Cool, what’d you get?”

“Oh, nothing, just some things to get us through the week”

“Ok, put them on the kitchen counter, I’ll put them away”

“Ok, thanks”

She leaves my room and I close my diary, putting it back in it’s hiding place. Just imagine if someone found it, the humiliation, the ridicule, the-... Best not to think about it.

I walk over to the kitchen, walking past Waddle doo who is watching the TV, and put away the items she got. Milk, Garbage bags, Ziplock bags, Fruit, nothing special. The rest of the day was like any other, I wasted time, worked on my essay, and went to sleep.

The next day I get out of bed at 7:30 and freshen up. Waddle doo has already left, unlike me: Waddle doo has a job, and so she has her classes earlier so she can get to her workplace on time. By the time I wake up, she’d have already left. This day was no exception. I put my papers and computer in my bag, eat breakfast and waste the time I have left.

I listen to the lecture for today and come back home, I am greeted with a note from Waddle doo that reads:

 _Hi, Waddle dee! I was called in early to work today, there’s nothing to worry about, have fun!_ \- **Waddle Doo**

 _Well, the woman said so!_ I think to myself, smirking.

I go up into my room and open my closet, taking down the entrance to the attic. I climb up the ladder and turn on the lights. It’s a bit cold, but that doesn’t bother me.

In there. There is a bottle, a couple of boxes of adult diapers, (I usually buy those online) and a me-sized crib. I undress, put on nothing but the diapers, and climb into the crib. I lay there for a while, soaking in the comfort of the mattress and pillow, It's cushiony fabric presses against my body. Loose strands of treading tickle my body.

I grab the bottle and softly start suckling on the tip, gradually taking in more of the bottle. The rubber on the top of it stretches and presses against the inside of my mouth, I curl my legs around myself, warming me. I start to suck harder. there is no liquid inside of the bottle, but it still feels so good.

All the stimulus sends goosebumps across my body. I turn my body so I’m facing belly down, a small aching feeling crosses between my legs. I shut my eyes and start sucking even harder, a feeling of need slowly forming below.

I pause for a moment, realizing that I had been rocking my hips back and forth. I continue sucking on the bottle, but let one of my hands go. I reach down to my lower regions and peek my hand under my diaper. I discreetly rub the tip of my length, sending a shock down the lower half of my body, making my legs buckle.

“Mmmm” I moan, the bottle still in my mouth.

I stretch my legs down as I move my hand lower, gripping the tip of my length. The semi-erect member feels large in my small and cold hands; I shudder. Slowly: I move my hand up from the bottom of my shaft and back down, flooding me with waves of euphoria. My cock grows larger and in turn, I stroke a bit faster. I start to-

*door opening sound*

My eyes shoot open, and I stop everything I’m doing. I put the bottle down and leap over the crib cage. I jump out of the diaper and throw it on the ground as I climb down the ladder to the attic. I slowly close the entrance as to not make a loud sound and run over to my desk and open my computer as if I was doing work. Then immediately after Waddle doo walks into my room, as if on cue.

“Hey”

“Hey, back so soon?”

“Yeah, apparently, they _didn’t_ need me and meant to call in someone else, as an apology, they let me come back early”

“Oh, ok. And, you’re off tomorrow too, right?”

“Right”

“...”

“...”

“Ok bye” Waddle doo finally closes the door and leaves. I throw my head back in my chair and sigh. _That could’ve gone badly_ I think to myself, and 100% it could’ve

I wake up the next morning and get ready for my classes. Waddle dee is still asleep so I try to stay quiet. I don’t have work today, but I can’t change the time I take my classes (anymore). I take my bag and head towards campus. There is not much to say about my lecture, other than someone was playing Wii bowling in class.

I come home and look at the time, 9:00, Waddle dee should be back an hour from now. I walk over to his room. Usually, he doesn’t make his bed, today was no exception. I sigh, walking over to it, _someone_ has to do it.

I fluff his pillow first and then grab his blanket, I lift it up and under it, there’s a book, no, notebook! on it, it says “Diary” could you be any more discreet? Maybe he forgot to hide it back? Well, there’s probably some really personal stuff in there, I probably shouldn’t look in it… ok, just a peek.

I open the book to the first page, introduction, hope Waddle doo doesn't find this, blah blah blah. I skip a few pages to get to the good stuff, _JUICE._ and sure enough, there's juice.

I start reading from about the hundred-and-fiftieth page, In it, there's some _really_ unbelievable stuff in it, and for I moment, I feel like Waddle dee's pulling on my leg. _Attic? That’s dumb, what kind of dorm room has an attic?_ I open Waddle dee’s closet and to my amazement, there’s an attic. Intrigued, I take down the entrance and climb up. _Baby stuff? And a diaper on the ground, ew_. How did Waddle dee buy all of this without me noticing? I look back into the book to see if all this is in it.

I freeze in place, looking at everything in the attic. I shiver slightly at the chilliness of the attic. I stand shocked, especially at the fact that Waddle dee could hide this all from me. Suddenly, an evil idea strikes my head, and with my poor judgment, I go for it.

Nothing interesting happened in class today, I listen to the hour-and-a-half-long lecture and finally I return to the dorm room. Immediately I’m met with a shock; all of my… _personal_ stuff is in the living room.

“Waddle doo?” I call out, knowing she’s probably here. No response. Feeling in the mood, I play along. There’s only one diaper, so I change into that. I hop into the crib, lay down back-down, crossing my legs, and my hands behind my head, I lay in this position for a while, feeling it’s comfortable.

I turn to my side and see the bottle, until now, I hadn’t noticed it’s there, I pick it up and inspect it; It’s very clean, and there’s no dust on it. I close my eyes and start sucking on it as I did before. I wrap my tongue around its top, my tastebuds rub against the rubber. I suck a bit harder and notice a liquid shooting into my mouth. I open one eye and look at the bottle while still sucking, it’s filled with milk, _warm_ milk! It tasted sweet, like honey. The heat from the fluid warmed my otherwise cold mouth.

Before I knew it, my penis had been peeking out of my diaper, pleading for attention. I uncross my legs and put them down, I move one hand down my body and grabbed the middle of my shaft, giving it a firm grip. I moved it up and down within a small range for a while then started to stroke within a larger area, from base to tip. Pleasure waved over me with each stroke, I didn’t want to stop, the diaper was sliding off, but that didn’t bother me. Everything was amazing, everything _felt_ amazing, but then, unexpectedly, I feel a hand on my shoulder.

My eyes shoot open

“Waddle doo!?” I yell as I throw the bottle to the side and pull up my diaper.

“Shhhhh,” Waddle doo said in a soft and comforting voice.

“Wh- wha?” I say, confused as she picks me up.

"I know"

"y-you do?" I say, a still obvious sign of panic in my voice.

"relax"

her calm and gentle voice soothed me. she rocked me in her arms. She was so gentle with her touch. 

She started moving her hand lower down my body and softly yanked my diaper, I panic for a second, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell her to stop. She brought it down to where my penis is just visible; It had grown a bit more, but still wasn’t fully erect.

I was light, so Waddle doo was able to hold me with one hand. I close my eyes again, not having anything to do, I laid in her arms.

“But how did you-” I say, opening my eyes for a second. Before I even got to finish my sentence she put my bottle in my mouth. I decided It'd be best not to talk. I start sucking on the bottle once again, drinking the only lukewarm milk now.

Waddle doo softly pinched the tip of my dick, making me shudder. I wasn’t used to being touched by other people. She moved her hand around my body, caressing my chest, her palm squished against my equally squishy body. 

Her hand slithered back down to my bottom half. she rubbed the bottom front of my penis; it didn’t feel (that) good, but it didn’t feel bad either. She slowly moved her hand up, and then back down, and up over again and again. I winced and curled my legs as the first waves of pleasure washed over me.

“Mmnngh” I moaned, taking my mouth off of my bottle for a second. She lowered me down onto the cushiony mattress, taking her hand off my back. She moved both of her hands down to my lower regions and surrounded the base of my length with her fingers. She moved her head down too; Wait was she… ya know.

I stopped sucking my bottle, there was almost no more milk in it left. I looked down, with a firm grip on the base of my shaft, she rubbed her cheek against the side of it and made her way up from there. When she came to the top, she rubbed a bit with her chin and then concealed my tip with her mouth. I grabbed the bottle again and pressed it against my chest, waiting for what she’ll do next.

She flicked her tongue fervently against my tip, making me gasp. Then, without warning, she took my entire length in her mouth.

“Ah-aahh!” I let out a keening cry at the wave of euphoria I felt throughout my body. I realized I still have the bottle in my hand, so I started feverishly sucking on it. Before I could recover, Waddle doo started bobbing her head up and down, sucking gently as she did so. The bottle in my hand felt nothing compared to what she was doing. Waddle Doo started pressing her tongue against the underside of my length, sliding it up and down from base to tip, and back, and again, and again.

All this was too much for me. My eyes squeezed shut tight, my feet splayed. It all felt sensational. Her mouth was so moist and her tongue, so spongey, it all aroused me even more. But then suddenly, it stopped.

I opened my eyes, Waddle doo was leaving the room.

“Wait! Where are you…” I lie down in silence for a minute, looking at the ceiling, thinking back to what just happened, ha di done something wrong? And then, unexpectedly, she comes back, with… something in her hand?

She takes my bottle from my hand and sits back down where she was before.

“Hey! I-” Interrupted again, she puts something in my mouth, I take it out and inspect it. A pacifier? Confused, I look at Waddle doo, who just gives me a smug look. Well, I wasn’t going to complain. I put the pacifier back in my mouth and lie down. Then, without warning, she starts sucking me off again.

It’s immediately obvious that the pacifier is in better condition than the bottle I bought for myself, the rubber is softer, and it stretches more easily. I suck the pacifier in time with Waddle doo’s bobbing, and then in a single moment, I get that feeling again.

I sit up and let a quiet moan escape my throat, leaning back to hold myself up, my arms behind me. My breathing quickens; It’s blatantly obvious on what’s about to happen. I felt something hot building up at my base, threatening to come out. Waddle doo speeds up, swirling her tongue around the entirety of my length, stimulating me more, sending me over the edge.

“Mmmngh- _ahhhh!_ ” I cried out helplessly as I reached my peak. I spit out the pacifier in my mouth and shudder uncontrollably as hot spurts of white liquid escape my body. Waddle Doo, still sucking on at least half of my manhood, took it all in; She didn’t stop until I was completely finished, and when I was, she lifted her head and swallowed.

She lied down next to me, obvious that she was tired, I was too.

“...”

“...”

Me and my roommate lied down on the crib in silence for what seemed like forever, until she finally said:

“Wanna take a walk?”

And to which I replied:

“Sure”

Me and Waddle doo leisurely walk down the sidewalk, anxiety within both of us. Nobody says anything until Waddle doo finally breaks the tension.

“So… that was… fun”

“Yeah, It... was!”

“We could... do it again sometime?”

“Yeah, I… guess we could”

“...”

“If you want?”

“Of course”

“...”

“Besides, I thought you were cute.”

Waddle doo says as she blushes. Hearing that, I blush too. Reluctantly, I grab Waddle doo’s hand, who immediately grabs mine back. We rest on each other's shoulders and walk the rest of the way in silence, small smiles on our faces.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_I hope you like this one, I took a cool 1st person perspective as opposed to my other stories with a 3rd person perspective. I even switched POVs at some point._

**I just realized how great of a MOVIE this would make!**

**I lost the original text for this story and so I rewrote it, and UGH this is SO much suckier than the one I did before. This story was meant to be released on 2/6/20 While I was writing this story, I found myself wanting to add things in, but couldn’t find places to put them, any ideas on how to help with that?**

**My original text had a 4th wall break in it, but sadly It had to be removed due to the inconvenience; That’s so sad tho because I had a BANGER joke with it and it was epic.**

**Eh, I don’t like this one, the ending smut is just vanilla smut with an eyeball and a small squishy thing in a diaper. When the blowjob part came I realized Waddle doo doesn’t have a mouth (nor does waddle dee but whatever) but I was too far in to change it so I just went with it.**

**I’ve been using my own writing tools to change the pace of the story as it goes on, for example, there are no commas during the fast-paced paragraphs, so you read it without pauses, making it… faster-paced!**

**I will be skipping cannibalism because it doesn’t fall into the category of “philia” than it does straight up felon so…**

**Next up:** _Dysmorphophilia: Sexual arousal arising from deformed, mentally impaired, or physically impaired partners._ **O...kayyyyyy um, I’m gonna need some suggestions for this one. In the meantime, Feedback?**


	9. Dysmorphophilia: Sexual arousal from deformed, mentally impaired, or physically impaired partners.

“ESCARGOON”

“Yes, sire? By the way, I’m in the same room as you; You don’t have to yell.”

King Dedede was sitting in his room with Escargoon.

“Go… clean up the dungeon”

“What? Me? Surely one of the waddle dees could do it!”

“Nah, they is easier to get rid of, you is a bit harder, and I need some alone time.”

“Well if you need me to go I can leave you alone for a while!”

“Pshhh, yeah, for like 5 minutes, then you come crying back. Plus, the dungeon needs a good cleaning anyway. Now go clean the dungeon!”

Escargoon scoffed at the king’s request, but he knew he couldn’t argue with him.

Agitated, he walked all the way over to the basement door and crept down the stairs. Escargoon didn’t like the dungeon, they haven’t used it in forever, there was only one light, and worst of all, he had to clean EVERYTHING!

It was upsetting, but he knew the job had to be done because if it _wasn’t_ done, Dedede would eventually find out and s#*t would go down.

Escargoon turned on the single hanging light and assessed the damage. The dungeon wasn’t too big, lotta dust, lotta cobwebs, for some reason, a guillotine, and not too many cells. Eerily, in one of the cells, there was a skeleton. _What?_ Escargoon thought to himself. _I thought we never put anyone down here._ Reluctantly, he approached the skeleton. Oh, it’s plastic; Escargoon’s worried face turned into a look of disapproval. _Wow, ok._

Escargoon looked around again at his surroundings and started working, picking up bigger pieces of trash first, then moving onto smaller ones later, going upstairs whenever he needed something. He was obliged to ask one of the hundreds of Waddle dees to do his job for him but knew if Dedede found out, he would literally hit him.

Escargoon was almost done. He had swept and mopped the floors, de-rusted the iron bars on the cells, and sat the plastic skeleton up; He was proud of himself! But now he had to do the thing he was putting off for the longest time… The guillotine. Escargoon thought that this shouldn’t be too bad, considering he had done everything else with ease; Unlike the plastic skeleton though, this was real.

It hadn’t once been used and was not subject to wear and tear. He looked all around it first seeing what he had to do with this. Not much was needed, he could easily take the part where somebody’s head would go off and saw it was a bit dirty so he started with what he did before.

He reached in between the gap, the large blade overtop in the back of his mind. He picked up a couple of medium-sized pieces of trash and put them in a garbage bag he had gotten from upstairs. He felt around until his hand hit a piece of string, he tugged on it gently but it wouldn’t budge. _It must be stuck under it._ He thought to himself. He pulled harder and felt it slide, he knew he was getting close. And once more he yanked on it swiftly and forcefully and it finally came loose.

_*Shhhhhing*_

_*Slice*_

“AAAAAAAOOWWW” His screams of terror could be heard even two floors up. Luckily one of the Waddle dees got concerned and went downstairs to check on him. The poor little waddle dee didn’t know what he was walking in to, but lucky he did. Quickly, he alerted King Dedede and Escargoon was rushed to the Cappy town hospital.

The sun rose on another dreadful day. Escargoon was woken up by King Dedede.

“Hey, uh… sorry” Escargoon couldn’t even say anything to him, he just turned away.

“On the plus side, the dungeon looks like a million bucks!”

“...”

“Ay, man, look, One day, we’re gonna look back at this, and laugh”

“Laugh!? I HAVE NO ARMS, MY ARMS ARE GONE, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EAT, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ANYTHING!”

“Uh… I mean, you could-”

“That was a rhetorical question!”

“Dang, ok, don’t blame me you’re so dumb” King Dedede walked out of his room and left Escargoon on his bed. He laid there for a while, contemplating that, if he had left the rope alone, he would still have his arms,

Word spread through Cappy town that Escargoon lost his hands pretty quickly. Eventually, Escargoon got out of bed and went to his small patio, pushing the door with his back as he went outside. He looked at the small town; At his perspective, it looked tiny, just a small bump in the patch of land around it.

*Knock, knock, knock*

Huh? Who could that be? He pushed his way back inside and said

“Come in” seeing as he couldn’t open the door himself. Escargoon couldn’t see who it was as there was a wall blocking them but by the sound of their voice, he could easily tell it was Meta Knight.

“Hey, uh, Escargoon.”

“Hey”

“I heard about what happened”

“...”

“Are you ok?”

“More or less the same, it still kind of stings”

“Oh, well, I’m sorry to hear”

“...”

“Is there anything I can do”

Up until this point, Meta Knight hadn’t seen Escargoon, but in the time of their small conversation he had gone around the wall, it was then he saw Escargoon and his (or lack of) hands.

“Oh…”

“I know, It’s horrible!” Escargoon said, throwing his head back onto his bed.

Meta Knight, a bit caught off guard with this situation, looked at the wakes of where his hands used to be.

“It doesn’t look _that_ bad. I kind of think I like it.”

“What?”

Meta Knight approached Escargoon

“How could you like it? It looks _hideous!_ ”

Meta Knight sat on the bed next to Escargoon and said

“Actually, I think it’s a bit sexy” 

“Huh?!” Escargoon said a bit put off with his response. Meta Knight inched closer, something trembling between his legs.

“I don’t know why, but it gives me chills just looking at it.”

“What kind of chills?” Escargoon asked a bit creeped out.

“Good chills.” Meta Knight put a hand on Escargoon’s slimy nub, making him shudder. It still kind of stung, and it was still a bit sensitive, but for some reason, it kind of felt good.

Meta Knight was crossing his legs, trying his hardest not to show his small, but growing erection. Escargoon couldn’t bring himself to say anything. Though he desperately tried to find something to say, no words came together. Meta Knight himself didn’t know where this reaction came from, but he decided to keep with it.

Meta Knight couldn’t contain himself any longer and uncrossed his legs revealing his semi-erect member to Escargoon. Escargoon, upon seeing it, gasped a little but found the sight a bit satisfying, this caused Escargoon’s own member to start to grow too. At first, he was a little embarrassed but realized he wasn’t the only one in this position.

As soon as he saw Escargoon’s Length start to grow, he grabbed hold of it. When he did Escargoon let out a small moan, but not loud enough for Meta Knight to hear. He played around with it until it was big enough to stroke. When it was, stroke he did.

He couldn’t figure it out, but something about being with Escargoon made his arousal grow by the second. Maybe it was the way he looked, maybe it was his lack of hands, either way, he saw something in him that he hadn’t seen before.

As Meta Knight was stroking Escargoon off, he felt waves of pleasure run down his spine, he hadn’t had a feeling like this in almost years, with his job, and having to tend to the Waddle dees and the castle, he hadn’t had this kind of time. A tingling feeling formed in his gut, and he had a sensation lingering in the middle of his penis, like an itch, but it wasn’t.

As Meta Knight started rubbing his length faster, Escargoon felt he was going to cum already. It’s been so long, that he had all this built-up tension that he refused to let out for all this time. As Escargoon reached his peak, long thick spurts of semen shot out of his member, Making him moan, very loudly.

“Aaaaauuuugh!” When it was over, Meta Knight stopped stroking and wiped off the cum on his face with his cape, and said.

“How do you feel now?”

“Better.” Escargoon said, and he did.

“If you need any help in the future, come to me”

“Speaking of, what about you?”

“It’s ok, seeing your… problem, I’ll be able to do it myself.

“I love… you…” Escargoon tried to finish, but Meta Knight was already leaving. Little did he know, Meta Knight did hear and paused for a moment when he closed the door behind him and smiled.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 _I do not support the Escargoon X Meta Knight ship, I started this story with the intent of Shipping Escargoon with someone, but didn’t know who; I eventually settled with Meta Knight cause there is LITERALLY NO CHARACTER that ships well with Escargoon, and Meta Knight is the only_ ** _decent_** _character I can use. I cringed every time I wrote “Meta Knight”_ <\- _even that time._

**Ok, this is a bad chapter and you can blame me, I procrastinated and didn’t work on it until I felt like it. Honestly, with Bombs not commenting anymore (or anyone really for that matter), and Kudos coming in slow, I’m feeling kind of unmotivated, but I have almost 500 hits! And I know a lot of people want to read more of this, so I try, I try** **_hard_ ** **.**

**Foof, that was a long hook. For those of you who didn’t know when the hook ended, it was the first 9-10 paragraphs. Lotta words for one hook.**

**This story takes place In like, the middle of the Kirby anime, so no Kirby, that’s Pedophilia, We save that for the next chapter. (Also in literally every other game there is no Escargoon except for a cameo in Kirby: Mass Attack, so I had to follow the Kirby: Right back at ya’ canon.) Speaking of Pedophilia, I've actually already started working on it, so It shouldn't take too long to finish.**

**If the smut seemed a bit rushed/lazy, that’s because it was. I wanted to get this one over with after I had spent so much time on it. Plus, as of this chapter. _I AM PUTTING THIS SERIES ON PAUSE TO WORK ON A JIGGLYPUFF X KIRBY FANFIC_. If you don’t like that ship, good for you; leave some hate when it’s out!**

Quick note: No, I don’t support the Dedede X Escargoon ship. I do ->[~{NOT!}~]<\- like it.


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